Life of a Metal

I want to find a new group of friends so I have a new rotation of things to do. Why is it so difficult.

So I’m done with this relationship thing. I saw this lame post one of my younger sister’s friends posted, and it read: “When I text you it means I miss you. When I don’t text you it means I’m waiting for you to miss me.” And as whiney and childish as that sounds, I found myself being in this exact situation right now. I’ve been texting this person to chill when I miss them, and the conversation always ends with a “Sorry, gonna be at a friends place all night. I will text you tomorrow.” Then, I wait like 2 days for them to text me first, and I don’t hear from them the whole time. Then I text them to chill again and the same thing happens.

I guess I don’t understand relationships. Or how you get 2 people to sync up their feelings for each other. I’m gonna text them one more time this week, then starting July 1st, I’m done initiating conversations. And maybe I’ll try to move on.

Ugh, feelings for people are stupid.

So I’m at the point in hanging out with this person, that I think they are now waiting for me to ask them out…. Since I’m lame and never handled this kind of situation, I am now even more worried that if I ask them to go out on a date, I’m going to ruin everything. UGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGGGGHHH#$%JHHJ%

I hate the idea of sleeping alone more and more… damn, I sound like a little whiney high schooler.

The person I was just getting over texted me tonight and wants to hang out tomorrow… Quote from the text. “I realize how much I care about you and I am going to be more open minded about everything and give us a chance.”

Literally just starting to get over the whole situation. And then boom. BOOM. In my face. Life, I just can’t even.

So I’ve come off my high horse and realized I don’t really need to go out with anyone right now. :P I think I was getting caught up with the idea cause one of my best friends is starting to get this girlfriend and I just soooo badly don’t wanna hold him back and 3rd wheel ever. We hang out all the time, so its something to get used to when she just comes to hang out with us because he’s around me almost all the time. And I know he feels a little bad about leaving to hang out with her. So I decided the person I was thinking about dating 2 weeks ago isn’t worth it.

I’ve come to the conclusion that it was selfish of me to think I needed to find someone for myself. To help give me company and be there for me. I’m here for everyone else. That’s who I am. I just apparently forgot that for awhile. It’s ok now, I got my head back on straight, kind of. lol Oh well, fuck life.

Cause life’s a bitch, but she’s totally doable. ;)